8 Signs That Your Child Might Be Struggling

Reflecting on my own journey through childhood, I can't help but cringe at the decisions I made during adolescence. While the early years were filled with happiness and normalcy, the later years led me down paths I now regret. As parents, it is crucial to monitor our children and their activities, enabling us to identify the trajectory they are on. Focusing solely on punishment without addressing the underlying issues may result in a child becoming troubled. Here are common signs that indicate a child may be heading in the wrong direction, along with steps to guide them back onto a positive path.

1. Mood Swings

Fluctuating moods are not uncommon, especially during the teenage years when hormones are in flux. However, excessive highs and lows or abrupt shifts from euphoria to depression without apparent cause warrant attention. Approach your child with empathy and provide stability. Stay calm and avoid adding unnecessary drama. Encourage open communication to help them express their true feelings in the moment.

2. Withdrawal

While not every child is naturally outgoing, signs of withdrawal may be cause for concern. Look out for signs of depression, lack of confidence, or feelings of rejection from their peers.

3. Hiding Things

Discovering that your child has been hiding something, even if it seems trivial, should raise a red flag. This behavior suggests a tendency towards secrecy, which can indicate acceptance of wrongdoing or a lack of trust in you. Both scenarios are potentially harmful.

4. Declining Grades

Lower-than-usual grades indicate an underlying issue. It could be a learning disability, laziness, the need for additional instruction, or various social and domestic challenges. It may also be a sign of depression or discontentment. Instead of solely resorting to punishment, dig deeper to address the root cause.

5. Sudden Change of Friends

While making new friends is a positive aspect of social development, it becomes concerning when your child abruptly stops spending time with their usual friends and begins associating with an entirely different group. Take the time to understand their attraction to the new group and the reasons behind the breakdown of their previous friendships. Navigating relationships can be complex, and children rely on their parents for guidance. Friendship breakdowns can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms as they try to numb or distract themselves from the pain.

6. Fluctuating Weight

Significant weight loss or gain is often associated with an unhealthy desire for control. The turbulent and unstable nature of childhood can lead to stress-induced eating disorders, excessive consumption, or other dysfunctional coping strategies. These unhealthy behaviors can pave the way for substance abuse, self-harm, or other harmful practices aimed at controlling feelings of fear, anxiety, and insecurity. This should be handled with care and patience. Seek guidance from qualified medical professional if necessary.

7. Personality Changes

Puberty naturally brings about some shifts in personality, but it's crucial to monitor noticeable negative changes. If a typically upbeat child becomes more pessimistic or an outgoing child becomes withdrawn, there may be underlying factors contributing to these shifts. It could be that they are engaging in behaviors they know you wouldn't approve of or experiencing bullying at school. Perhaps they are desperate for approval they feel they aren't receiving. Engage them in conversations that explore their feelings about the changes happening around them, providing a safe space for them to express themselves.

8. Altered Dress Style

Experimenting with new looks is part of developing a sense of identity, which continues into the mid-twenties. However, a sudden and drastic change in dress and appearance may indicate deeper insecurities. Wearing more revealing clothing might be an indication of exploring sexual activity, while excessively baggy or concealing attire could be a sign of hiding something. For instance, if a child consistently wears long sleeves even in warm weather, they may be concealing self-harm scars.